Who am I and why am I here?

Who am I and why am I here?

I find it funny that as soon as we are given an assignment that looks at our self-identity, I find a TV show to watch that deals with a man who knows everything there is to know in the world, but not one thing about himself. He calls himself John Doe (also the name of the show, 2002) and he knows everything from the current Yellow Pages to the first lines of Hamlet. But he doesn’t even know his own name, favorite color, what he likes to eat. He just woke up on an island off the coast of Washington state with all this knowledge and no idea where it, or he, came from.

A quick Google search comes up with several movies and TV shows about identity, whether it be mistaken, stolen, changed, or crisis, it seems that identity is a huge concept in storytelling. There were even both a movie and a TV show entitled Identity. Holes, The Giver, Charlotte’s Web, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, they are all listed as books that have a central theme of identity. Even the X-Men comics dabbled into the subject.  

So are we obsessed about finding out who we are? Do we feel that if these characters can achieve some sort of “found ID” that we can too?

I had a teacher in grade school who told us all that basic human needs include food, water, shelter, and the need to belong. Is that why we are so set on finding out who we are? What if when we find out we’ll know how to belong…

But that’s the catch. We can look out at other people and wish to know who we are so we can belong like them, but chances are they’re staring right back thinking the same thing. Who we are is not a destination; it’s a journey. Everything that happens to us helps shape our identity. And what happens to us later down the line will change us yet again.

For example, I was bullied in grade school and some in middle school. I spent most of high school without any friends. So today, I have a hard time believing that there are people who want to go and do something with me, to hang out with me. And I’m petrified that I’ll mess it up. So I try to be as receptive and supportive of my friends as I possibly can because I can’t afford to loose them. I also get a little jealous if I find out they spent time with someone else. I feel forgotten then. And I know it’s irrational and petty, but it's part of who I am. My past made that part of my identity. And there’s a good chance that something in the future will change it.

So the questions “who am I and why am I here” can only be applied to a single fixed point in time. Because if you ask me tomorrow, something could have happened that altered my identity even the slightest, but it still renders my previous answer as false. So who am I and why am I here today?

At this point in time I am a pioneer, and I’m here to travel along a path un-blazed by the masses. I’m here to belong to the few that are combining old and new. I want to bring together the ease of digital to the techniques and the looks of fine art. I want to paint with pixels, sculpt with wires, write words on a blank screen instead of blank page. And most of all, I want people to recognize what I do as real art.

Who am I? A digital artist.

Why am I here? To let the world know it.

But ask me tomorrow. You might have a totally different answer.